Asking For Help

Mental health is a hidden illness, one which can be controlling and can slowly begin to take over your life! Personally, I am very aware of my problems with mental health and at certain points over the years I have been very conscious of the times when my stress levels have grown to an unhealthy level! At points I have struggled to go to work without crying, or find it a challenge to get out of my flat in the morning! Maybe you have noticed your mental health taking over too? Fear not, because the wonderful thing about having mental health difficulties is that there are some incredible people out there that can help you through it! 

Firstly asking for help doesn’t show weakness, I think is shows strength. It is you taking a stand, telling your mental health that you are not happy and you do not want it to control your life! That takes courage!!! Things like Anxiety and stress are perfectly healthy emotions, but not when they begin to impact the way you live. They can 100% take over your life and stop you from being happy! Sometimes we know deep down we want to improve our mental health but often we just don’t know how to do it which is why seeking help is so important. Over the years I have seen 2 psychologist. The first was when I was in high school....

For me high school was not the happiest of places, for no reason than my own brain! I was a clever kid and in my 4th year of school I came top of the year in Art, Graph Comm, Chemistry and Maths - so intellect wasn’t exactly an issue. I had great friends who I still remain close with today and my family were always super supportive and loving! However school caused me so much stress! It is where my OCD kicked into full swing and I became a nervous wreck! I would put sooooo much pressure on myself to achieve well and be the very best, to the point that I ended up causing myself so much strain! At one point I was so nervous I couldn’t even get on the school bus in the morning for crying my eyes out! So my lovely parents sorted me to go and see this lady in Edinburgh to talk about what was going on!

If I’m honest I don’t know if I really understood at the time what the sessions were for! Mental health wasn’t really talked about then but I do distinctly remember them helping! From these sessions I was able to understand what emotions I was feeling and it also helped me open up about the exact root cause of my OCD which I had never told anyone before. In fact even just talking about how I was feeling really helped me. After a few sessions things at school got better! Yes I had my wobbles but on a whole during my last few years of high school I felt much more confident! I wasn’t crying everyday, I was certain in my abilities and I felt much more myself! I still got stressed but on a much more manageable level! 

The second time I got help was before I moved from Scotland to London in 2016 at the age of 21. I was experiencing a lot of anxiety about the move - it was my first time moving far from home and I was blooming nervous. I was aware that soon I would likely be in a position of even greater anxiety and wanted to seek some help to learn how to cope and get my nerves back in my control. The difference this time was I was seeking help consciously for myself! I knew I wanted to change anxieties grasp on my life and I knew only I could do it, but I also was aware that my life stresses now were different to those in school so I didn’t really know how to help myself! I needed the help!!

In the 8 weeks leading up to the move I did sought the help of a psychologist in Edinburgh (called David Craigie - for anyone looking for any help I would HIGHLY Recommend him!). As I only had such a short time I did a condensed crash course in overcoming stress. It was super interesting and very different to the experience to that I had had as a teen in high school! A lot of time was spent talking about my life and the people in it, the situations that make me anxious and finding out why they made me that way. We learnt about different techniques for coping and managing stress. Yes there were moments where I was crying like a baby but there were moments where I felt such a sense of relief to be able to talk openly and feel like I was taking steps in the right direction. The combination of learning and experimenting with techniques made the process so valuable to me!

At the start of the 8 weeks with David Craigie I took a mental health test -  not like hooked up to a monitor kind of test but a written test called DASS. The test is designed to look at you depression, anxiety and stress levels. I recorded my results of test 1 at the end of my first session. (At the time we was not told my results as to not impact my results at the end)

My results were as follows:

Stress= 25 (moderate)

Anxiety = 17 (severe)

Depression = 13 (mild)

It was clear from this that my mental health wasn’t exactly stable and my anxiety levels were not healthy! However after the 8 weeks session I retook the exact same test and the improvement in results was amazing:

Stress = 12 (normal)

Anxiety = 8 (mild)

Depression = 2 (normal) 

I was amazed to see that in such a short time I had managed to drop all my levels! To go from a severe level of anxiety to a mild level was just incredible! What made me even more proud was that I had taken the step to ask for help. Even today I don’t believe I would be as mentally stable as I am without the help of these people. 

Asking for help is a big step for anyone to take and it’s not always easy. But I can hand on heart say that asking for that guidance was one of the best things I have ever done! I won’t lie to you and say that the process will be easy. You have to want to change and make a conscious effort to do so. I also won’t say it has cured me of all mental health problems because if you have met me you will know it hasn’t, but it has helped more than I can express. Most importantly it helped me get back to being me, not an anxious version of me! Opening up about your problems is incredibly difficult! One thing I will say is that when you talk to one of these professionals there is no judgement, it is almost easier to talk to them than to a friend because they don’t know the people or the situation. It makes it 10000% easier to be open and vulnerable with them! Their job is not to make you feel silly or stupid, it is to help you! 

It has been 3 years since I last sought help for my mental health! The techniques and practices I have learnt I carry with me everyday. I have felt much more relaxed since but I do have my wobbles and trip ups too like any human will! However the last 6 months have been difficult! I have noticed my anxiety levels rising again. I’m feeling overwhelmed more often than not and feeling on edge. I’m doubting my abilities more than I ever have before! So I think it’s time again that I need to ask for help and that’s okay...

For those of you looking for help you can Do this a number of ways:

1. You can go privately and book an appointment with someone of your choice. It may be Specialist or a general psychologist. Going private is what I did before moving to London, it means you don’t have to wait around for an appointment, you can just jump straight into it! The only downside is you will have to pay for the service! When I was in Edinburgh this was approx £70 a session! It may sound a lot but it is a million percent worth the pennies!

2. You can go through the NHS for those of you in the UK! As far as I’m aware you don’t even need to book a doctors appointment, you can just call up the doctors surgery reception and ask to be referred for CBT training. CBT is short for 'cognitive behavioural therapy' which covers a wide base of mental health issues. It is a great service which we are very lucky to have for free however as it is free there is a fair waiting list!

3. The NHS has just set up an online mental health therapy called IESO digital health. You can find them online or on social media! This is great for those of you that are super busy and find it difficult to maybe get time of work for appointments. It is not a service I have tried but it is something I am keen to try out!

4. Helplines - for any immediate and urgent problems don’t hesitate to call helplines. There are loads out there! I’d defiantly recommend ‘Mind’ helpline for those of you like me with mental health. Or at worst case you can always call NHS 24! Sometimes you just need a chat urgently and these people are here to help! And if you ever have any suicidal thoughts do not hesitate to call them!!! It is their job to support you!

Seeking help is one of the best things I ever did! Sometimes it takes time to find the help that is right for you, but I promise it is worthwhile. Lastly don’t let anyone tell you asking for help makes you weak!! You are stronger than you will ever know! 

Until next week...

Kirsty x