Firstly I would just love to say a massive thank-you to everyone who has reached out to me since my last OCD post! I am overwhelmed by the kindness, words of support and people sharing their own stories with similar issues. This is one of the main reasons why I felt this blog was so important to write - to get people talking and show that it is okay to not always be okay! Please do keep reaching out if you have any issues, top tips or simply want a safe place to talk with someone who is going through the same thing!
Following on from last weeks blog I had a day of feeling so happy and loved from your responses that it brought tears to my eyes. It got me thinking about crying and the perception people give it - which sadly, is usually negative! Often people will tell you crying makes you weak or makes you seem like you cant handle things. In actual fact crying shouldn't be seen as a negative and 10000% not a sign of weakness. So I'm going to start this blog with a quote from Johnny Depp: 'People cry not because they are weak. it's because they've been strong for too long'.
To put it simply crying is our natural response to a multitude of things - sadness, grief, frustration, joy and even happiness. I wont lie - Im an emotional wreck most of the time, but I like to think I own it! I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm excited. Last year I cried at probably 100 Disney films just because I was happy someone made them!! I don't know if that says more about my constant need to shed a tear or my over obsession with Disney?? ... But lets not talk about happy tears for now. Lets talk about tears caused from stress or anxiety.
I am a strong believer in sometimes you just need a 'good cry'. Sometimes for no reason you can feel yourself bubbling full of emotion, often caused by a combination of factors: not enough sleep, a bit nervous about work, not enough exercise, maybe something has happened at home or with your family. Other times there doesn't even necessarily need to be anything in particular wrong but your body is just screaming for a cry. I find in these moments deep down you know nothing apart from an old fashioned cry will help, but holding it in is doing nothing but making the urge worse and more prominent.
Crying is often just a sign of someone who has been putting on a brave face for too long and possibly even been scared to admit they are anxious, sad or stressed for fear people will judge them. I know that is often a fear for me, especially in a work environment - Just because I get teary at times is not a reflection on my ability to handle pressures! Often a lot of the time the tears may be triggerd by a small event but there are other reasons behind them. I don't want people to think I cant handle my job or cant cope so often I get worried to show my emotions in these environments. The reality is everyone feels the pressure now and again, everyone has days where they feel unreal levels of stress and bottling it up. However putting on a brave face isnt always the best way to get past it. Sometimes you just got to cry!
Holding in your emotions doesnt always make things better! In fact a lot of people believe crying can actually reduce your stress levels. Emotional tears are believed to contain some stress hormones, hence when you cry your stress levels are dropped. It can overall enhance your mood, regulate your emotions and even help you sleep! Kind of the same way it does with babies - a sort of self soothing if you will! I don't know about you but after a good cry I find it so easy to fall asleep and feel like a weight has been lifted!
Often people will let their emotions build up to a point where they simply cannot handle things any more and it is at that point the floodgates open. I know a million and one people who have said they have cried in the toilets at work and I bet you know loads of people that have done it too (if not yourself)! Let me ask you - do you think any less of them for crying? I can guarantee the majority of you will say no! Crying is totally natural, and if anything crying helps rally support around you, it can make you feel less alone! I have had days where I feel like the world is against me and I could feel myself bubbling over. Ultimately it got too much and I have ended up balling my eyes out. Sometimes it just takes a tear for someone you didn't think even cared to come over and give you a cuddle for you to feel surrounded by love and support!
We are all human and we are all going to cry, whether it be from Disney films, anxiety, grief, loss, happiness or excitement. There is nothing wrong with shedding a tear. It categorically does not make you weak! Im not saying spend your days crying your eyes out, but be honest when your not feeling okay, talk to someone or take a break from your desk and go for a walk, or go make a coffee to clear your head. And if you do end up crying in the toilets or in front of your whole office - I promise you it is okay!! Sometimes letting it out will make you feel so much better than holding it in and trying to put on a brave face! Crying is nothing to be embarrassed over! Be true to how you feel and remember brave girls and boys cry!
Until next week...
Kirsty xx